MiscarriageHelp.com

MiscarriageHelp.com

You will always be the dream that stayed inside

by Ellen M. DuBois on 11/15/19




So many years, thoughts, dreams have passed since I miscarried. Life has gone on, changes, seasons, loves, career goals. I've accomplished things and there are things I wish to accomplish. I have some regrets, have made both good and bad decisions and have learned and grown. 

There have been unexpected curveballs and twists in life and I've found my feet upon paths I never expected to walk. I've not traveled paths I expected to.

My faith has grown and so has the realization that life is so precious. I always thought so, but more so now. Time does that. Loss does that.

I've learned I could survive the loss of my mother. Something I never, ever wanted to think about. I still don't, but I'm here and it's been over four years. 

And, to this day I remember and love the baby I lost and never got to hold. I still picture what life would be like had he survived. Somewhere in my mind there's an alternate universe where I "see" life, birthdays, Christmases, the firsts of everything with my child. I know it's not real, but it's there, tucked away in a special part of my mind and my heart.

To my sweet baby in Heaven, you will always be the dream that stayed inside.




 

 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]


My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

Repost: A Letter to My Baby In Heaven #miscarriage #pregnancyloss #miscarriagesupport

by Ellen M. DuBois on 11/05/19



Dear Baby of Mine,


I think about you so often. I decided to write you a letter. Something tells me you already know what I'm writing to you.

I loved you since the moment I knew you. I never felt a love so strong or so deep. It's unlike any other kind of love I experienced.

Knowing you were growing inside of me made me feel a connection to you that words can't describe. I remember patting my belly gently, talking to you and sometimes, I'd smile just knowing you were there, safe and sound.

I had so many wishes, hopes and dreams for you. I was so excited to see you for the very first time and hold you in my arms.

Well, one day, all of that went away. You had to go back to Heaven and I bet it's because you were too good for this earth. I've heard that expression before and something tells me it's true. I've also heard about soul lessons, and I think you came into my life to teach me about mine.

I'll never know what God's full plan is for me, but I know you coming into my life was part of it. I also know you leaving was another part of it...but, it hurt unlike anything I've felt or ever will. 

You taught me so much, like how much stronger I was than I thought. You taught me that love transcends everything, even death. You taught me how precious life is and to treasure every moment because it can change in an instant. You taught me that even though we are not together here, we are always connected- it's REAL. You taught me that my feelings should be expressed, not held in. You taught me that tears help to heal wounds and holding them in isn't good for me. You taught me how to take my pain and turn it around to help others. You taught me that everything is not in my control and how important it is to have faith in God for support. There were times I didn't know how I'd get through the day, and faith carried me. God carried me. The angels helped me and I bet you did, too.

I pictured Jesus holding you in his arms so many times. That comforted me while my arms ached to hold you.

I know it's been a long time since I lost you, but I have never, ever stopped loving you. 

You taught me that whether in Heaven or on earth, I will always be your mother.

Thank you for teaching me so many things and for every other way you touched my life and heart. 

I Will Love You Forever,

Mom

 

 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]


My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

Miscarriage: Your Time With Me Was So Brief

by Ellen M. DuBois on 10/24/19





Your time with me was so brief. My love for you is eternal.- Ellen M. DuBois

This is how I feel about the baby I carried and lost. I miscarried at about 4 months and have never, ever stopped loving my baby. 

I've found this is true for so many of us and want you to know you're not alone. No matter how far along you were. No matter how long it's been. No matter how briefly that little, beautiful life touched your own.

Love and light to you,

Ellen

 

 

 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]


My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

I Never Held You: A supportive book about miscarriage

by Ellen M. DuBois on 10/20/19

I Never Held You is a supportive book about miscarriage, grief, healing and recovery. It is helpful for those who have just suffered a miscarriage, or for women who lost their babies years ago when there was little, if any, support. Join author Ellen DuBois as she shares her journey- from the initial shock of learning her baby had passed away to reaching a place of healing and accepting her new normal. She never forgot her unborn baby and he continues to touch her life in countless ways. Dr. Linda Backman contributed the foreword and several chapters as both a licensed grief counselor and a woman who survived the loss of her son Adam, born at 26 weeks who lived for about an hour. Her heartbreaking loss is what led her to become a grief counselor and more.

Also included in this book are four touching stories from women who miscarried.

The second half of the book focuses on things the author found helpful in healing. She says: "Take what works for you, leave what doesn't, and remember to take one day at a time. There is no time frame on grief. Your loss matters, and so do you."

 

 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]


My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

Years ago I lost my baby Alex to miscarriage.

by Ellen M. DuBois on 10/16/19



Years ago I lost my baby Alex to miscarriage. His loving spirit changed my life. The pain after losing him changed my perspective. My feet were on a path I didn't want or know how to walk on.

Over time I learned how little there was, (over 25 years ago), available to support women and their families. I knew that had to change and 11 years after my miscarriage, I felt Alex's spirit nudging me to do something to help increase awareness...

Even if only a little.

I wrote a book and started a website. I healed to the point where I could use my pain to try and create something to contribute to awareness.

Adversity into positive.

And now, all these years later, I see women supporting each other, men and families, too. I thank God our very real losses are recognized and validated. I am moved so deeply at this powerful wave of light in honor of our babies.

We have come a long way since the 1990's. (And before.) Each year I hold all of you in my prayers. I see awareness and support growing. We are heard. Our babies are remembered and loved beyond measure.

Love to you all and your babies. I am so sorry for your loss.

#miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #youarenotalone #loss #pregnancyandinfantloss #waveoflight #remberingourbabies #pregnancyloss #babyloss #pinkandblue #youarenotalone #ineverheldyou #grief #awareness #supporteachother

 

 

 

 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]


My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

Custom order a Baby Remembrance Bracelets at Hope Angel Bracelets.

This website contains affiliate links and I may be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking through one of my links.


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If you'd like to check out my line of handmade jewelry, Hope Angel Bracelets, click this link to visit my shop. I also make remembrance/miscarriage awareness bracelets- custom orders welcome.

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois and I am deeply sorry for your loss. MiscarriageHelp.com is a support site for women and their families who have suffered the pain, loss and grief after miscarriage. I respond personally to each email and post and have been doing so since 2006. It's an outreach to me. I try to connect and give whatever support I can to those who have walked the often lonely road after miscarriage. Why? I don't want anyone to feel as alone as I did over twenty years ago after I miscarried. I'm not a doctor. 
I'm just a woman who's lived through it and am here to listen, share and provide a space for you to share with each other, too.- Love & comfort to you, Ellen 
You can purchase my book, I Never Held You, miscarriage, grief, healing and recovery at Amazon by clicking on this link: I Never Held You