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I Feel Your Love #repost #miscarriage #miscarriagesupport

by Ellen M. DuBois on 01/16/21



You flew
into the Heavens.
You shine bright
like stars.
I feel your light
when I miss you most.
Evening comes,
the ache surfaces.
I feel your light
enter the cracks
of my heart.
I feel your love.
Ellen M. DuBois, Miscarriagehelp.com




Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

An Extra Blue Christmas. Miscarriage and the Pandemic

by Ellen M. DuBois on 12/14/20



I wrote a post a couple of years ago that said something like "How to feel joy when everything feels wrong."


I thought of that today as I opened my blog and began to type. I thought how difficult it is to celebrate Christmas, Hannakuh, the entire holiday season after suffering a miscarriage and any other kind of loss of a loved one. I struggled for years and know many of you are struggling now with your grief during a season that's filled with celebration.

For many, it'll feel like an extra blue Christmas this year.

2020 is unlike any year we've seen. Not only are you grieving the loss of your baby, which is a heavy enough load to shoulder, you're also trying to navigate life during a pandamic. You may have suffered another loss to this terrible virus. Life is so upside down all over the world.

With so many of us trying to find ways to celebrate the holidays in very "unusual" ways, the world feels and is very different. 

However, grief, no matter what the circumstances, is grief. I get that. I also understand that coping is more difficult because of the state of the world. 

So I ask you to do this: Your loss still matters and so do your feelings. Please acknowledge them and know you have every right to grieve. You may be physically distanced from your support system, whether it's one person or many. Please reach out to them when you're feeling like you don't know which end is up. Talk on the phone, face time, email, whatever it takes to connect to someone when you need a friend. No matter what, we are there for each other.

Pray. I have found so much support and comfort through prayer. 

I pray every day for this pandemic to be wiped from the face of the earth. I pray for all those who are ill, who have lost someone, who are frontline workers. I pray for every woman and her family who is suffering after miscarriage. I know how difficult it is and how isolating it can be. 

I'm here to remind you that there are others who need connection and support just like you do. Connection is key, especially during these times.

Please connect. Stay connected because you are worth it.

Just like I believe this pandemic will end, I also believe you will heal. Take your time, feel what you must and reach out if you need to. We are there for each other. I am here for you in whatever way I can be.

I am so sorry for your loss. You're in my thoughts and prayers all the time.

Love and Light to you,

Ellen


Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

Just Checking In...

by Ellen M. DuBois on 11/30/20



Hello,


It's hard to find the words for a post that carries some real meaning to it. That's not to say that I post without putting my heart into it. I do and have been since 2006. But, I know how difficult it is to wade through the emotions and grief after miscarriage. Combined with the Christmas and holiday season upon us and the pandemic, what do I say? How do any words come close enough to giving you some sense of comfort...or at least empathy? 

I suppose what I need to do is separate the two: Your loss and the pandemic. I pray Covid19 is wiped from the face of the earth soon. I pray for all those who have suffered in any way, in essence, for the world.

Your miscarriage and the pain you feel is not diminished in any way. You've suffered a very real loss in a time where the world is already reeling. However, what you're feeling matters. You matter. No matter what this world is going through, you need and deserve support and to know that you are not being left on the sidelines to deal with your pain alone. 

This post, like many others I've done, was not thought out prior to writing it. I simply sit and let the words flow from my heart to you. I know it's not easy. I get the emptiness you're feeling. I know how you wanted that little one in your arms and probably think of your baby as Christmas, Hanukkuh, the holidays are here. I've done that for twenty-six years. My thoughts always go the baby I loved, but never held. That's not abnormal and my feelings matter, too. 

You need to grieve in your own way. I want you to know you'll get through this and I'd never say it'll be easy. I will say there are millions of others who know how you feel and together, we can support each other. Especially now when we're already feeling isolated and in many cases afraid.

What do I do? I pray for the world, for anyone who is suffering, for the pandemic to end and for each of you who may be feeling like nobody cares or very alone. If thoughts are energy, please know there's a lot of loving, supportive energy directed to you. I ask God and the angels to comfort you, to give you strength and to wrap you in unconditional love.

I am so sorry for your loss. I pray for your healing, your safety and send love to you and your precious baby in Heaven.

Love and Light,

Ellen



Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be: