Still Crying, still hurts, years after miscarriage. Is that normal?
by Ellen M. DuBois on 08/06/19
I speak from personal experience (not as a doctor) when I say it's normal to cry, even if it's been years since your miscarriage. If my experience is any indicator, I assure you that crying 26 years after I lost my little one to miscarriage still happens.
I don't cry every day. (Back in the beginning I used to and it was such a sad, isolating place. I'm sorry if you're there right now.) There's no sense or pattern to it. There are triggers, like anniversary dates. Sometimes, I'll see a commercial or something in a movie and the tears fall. It just happens and instead of fighting it, I've accepted it as part of who I am. To me, it's a testament to how much I loved my baby...and still miss him. But, it's a personal thing. If you don't cry, that doesn't mean you didn't love your baby. Everyone is different and how we grieve is also different.
Most of the time I'm fine. My "new normal" became my "everyday normal". Remembering my baby is part of who I am.
My heart goes out to you. Please know you're not alone. Love and Light, Ellen
Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.
Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]
My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be: