Missing You At Christmas #miscarriage #Miscarriagesupport
by Ellen M. DuBois on 12/10/19
It seems all emotions are heightened at Christmas- from joy to sorrow. It's a bit easier for me now that time's gone by since my miscarriage. Decades. But, I remember those first years. I remember what it felt like to wish my baby were with me celebrating Christmas. I remember the tears, trying to keep it together, wanting to be happy but feeling like I had a wet blanket over my shoulders.
The weight of grief was almost unbearable.
My family, friends and faith got me through. I cried, prayed and cried some more. I still loved Christmas and what it meant, but I found myself stuck in grief and longing. I had an ache inside that nothing took away.
Time was what I needed so I could heal. It didn't happen overnight. Years went by and I began to feel more like myself again, but I never forgot my baby and to this day I miss him.
So, if you're feeling this way please know you're not alone. You're allowed to grieve and you're allowed to feel joy, too. It's not easy when your emotions run the spectrum, but hang on, keep the faith and know you'll come out on the other side.
I know I'll always feel my baby in my heart, just like I do my mother now that she's passed away. I accept my sadness and embrace the joy. Although not an easy road, it's one you don't have to travel alone.
Love and Light to you,
Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.
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My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be: