Missing You At Christmas #miscarriage #Miscarriagesupport : MiscarriageHelp.com

Missing You At Christmas #miscarriage #Miscarriagesupport

by Ellen M. DuBois on 12/10/19

It seems all emotions are heightened at Christmas- from joy to sorrow. It's a bit easier for me now that time's gone by since my miscarriage. Decades. But, I remember those first years. I remember what it felt like to wish my baby were with me celebrating Christmas. I remember the tears, trying to keep it together, wanting to be happy but feeling like I had a wet blanket over my shoulders.

The weight of grief was almost unbearable. 

My family, friends and faith got me through. I cried, prayed and cried some more. I still loved Christmas and what it meant, but I found myself stuck in grief and longing. I had an ache inside that nothing took away.

Time was what I needed so I could heal. It didn't happen overnight. Years went by and I began to feel more like myself again, but I never forgot my baby and to this day I miss him.

So, if you're feeling this way please know you're not alone. You're allowed to grieve and you're allowed to feel joy, too. It's not easy when your emotions run the spectrum, but hang on, keep the faith and know you'll come out on the other side. 

I know I'll always feel my baby in my heart, just like I do my mother now that she's passed away. I accept my sadness and embrace the joy. Although not an easy road, it's one you don't have to travel alone.

Love and Light to you,


Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]

My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

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Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois and I am deeply sorry for your loss. MiscarriageHelp.com is a support site for women and their families who have suffered the pain, loss and grief after miscarriage. I respond personally to each email and post and have been doing so since 2006. It's an outreach to me. I try to connect and give whatever support I can to those who have walked the often lonely road after miscarriage. Why? I don't want anyone to feel as alone as I did over twenty years ago after I miscarried. I'm not a doctor. 
I'm just a woman who's lived through it and am here to listen, share and provide a space for you to share with each other, too.- Love & comfort to you, Ellen 
You can purchase my book, I Never Held You, miscarriage, grief, healing and recovery at Amazon by clicking on this link: I Never Held You