Miscarriage: I'm having a difficult time moving forward. : MiscarriageHelp.com
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Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com ​

My name is Ellen DuBois and I've been hosting this site since about 2009. I miscarried many years ago when I was 25 and it really turned my life upside down. I remember going into bookstores to find something that spoke to the grief and pain I was feeling. Typically I walked out empty handed and on the verge of tears. Every book I saw was about having a baby...not losing one. ​

It was sad, lonely and very isolating. And remember, there was no Internet to go to. If you wanted to find a support group, you had to ask around. ​

Why didn't my doctor talk to me more about it? Why was my baby called a "fetus" and not "viable"? Why did this happen to me and why couldn't I find any kind of support? My mind was full of "whys, what ifs and could have beens". For anyone who has lived through miscarriage, I think you know what I mean. ​

All these years later I'm still advocating for women who have miscarried. I want people to better understand what a woman who has miscarried is going through. How? By posting in my blog, sharing articles from "Miscarriage Help", a free newsletter I curate and by listening to you. ​

I know nothing will change what happened to us. But, it is one of my greatest hopes that the medical community and society will treat miscarriage as the real loss it is. ​

May God and the angels comfort you. May you be given the strength you need. I pray you feel compassion, connection and empathy from those who have walked the same path. ​

Love and Light, ​

Ellen

I Never Held You is a supportive book about miscarriage, grief, healing and recovery. It is helpful for those who have just suffered a miscarriage, or for women who lost their babies years ago when there was little, if any, support. Join author Ellen DuBois as she shares her journey- from the initial shock of learning her baby had passed away to reaching a place of healing and accepting her new normal. She never forgot her unborn baby and he continues to touch her life in countless ways. Dr. Linda Backman contributed the foreword and several chapters as both a licensed grief counselor and a woman who survived the loss of her son Adam, born at 26 weeks who lived for about an hour. Her heartbreaking loss is what led her to become a grief counselor and more. Also included in this book are four touching stories from women who miscarried. The second half of the book focuses on things the author found helpful in healing. She says: Take what works for you, leave what doesn't, and remember to take one day at a time. There is no time frame on grief. Your loss matters, and so do you.Companion miscarriage support site at miscarriagehelp.com

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Miscarriage: I'm having a difficult time moving forward.

by Ellen M. DuBois on 04/07/22

Dear Ellen,


It will be four years this July since I miscarried. It was one of the worst days of my life. I was alone and scared. I made a call to my doctor's office when I saw blood on the toilet paper while at a family cookout.

My husband was away on business. I didn't even have the chance to tell him we lost the baby right away because his cell phone wasn't working. 

I got home that night after leaving him countless messages to please call me. My sister stayed with me through it all.

There are lots of details I'm leaving out, but the bottom line is I'm having such a difficult time moving forward from this. Some days it feels like it just happened. I can barely breathe. I know it's been four years, but the pain is there every single day and I feel like it's eating me up. My husband and I talk about it but honestly, I don't feel it does any good. I'm glad we can talk, but do I feel better? No. I think it's because it doesn't change anything. Nothing will bring my baby back and we've had a very difficult time getting pregnant again. 

I'm rambling, lost, found your site and felt like spilling here. Thanks for taking the time to listen.

Dianne
Hello. This is Ellen, host of this site. I've shared this email from Dianne after she told me it was fine to do so. I'll get back with a response and post it. I wanted to share it now so any of you who are feeling the same way realize you are not alone. I remember what it was like four years after my miscarriage. There were times the wound felt so raw. Sending you all love and light and I'm so sorry for your loss. Ellen #miscarriage #babyloss #pregnancyandinfantloss #thejourney #healing #healingquotes #pailrd #rememberingourbabies #youarenotalone #PregnancyLossandInfantLossAwareness #infantloss #pregnancyloss #creatingawareness #yourlossmatters #ineverheldyou #miscarriagesupport #babylosssupport #helpingeachother #womenhelpingwomen #pregnancy #women #grief #angels #comfort #ineverheldyou

 

 

About me:  My name is Ellen DuBois, born and raised in Massachusetts. I love New England with its changes in seasons and natural beauty.

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

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