If they tell you to "Get over it", they don't have a clue what you're living. : MiscarriageHelp.com

If they tell you to "Get over it", they don't have a clue what you're living.

by Ellen M. DuBois on 06/01/19

I get this. When I heard those words, "Why don't you grow up and get over it", it felt like I was punched in the gut. No kidding...it really happened.

For anyone who has ever heard words like this after suffering the heartbreak of miscarriage, I am so sorry. I know words hurt.  

I learned that people often say things with the best intentions, but don't think it through. They don't realize how powerful (and painful) their well intended words can be. The person who said this to me was trying to "help" move me forward, but it wasn't right. Not for me, not for you. I had to live through my grief, ride the waves, feel the overload. It was a terrible place to be, and what I needed to hear were words of support...or simply silence. Just knowing someone was by my side who allowed me to feel helped a great deal. 

So, if someone tells you to "get over it", they have no clue what you're living.

Pray if you're inclined. I found it helped. Go easy on yourself and if you ever hear words that hurt, please try to let them go. (I know it's not easy.) Many people can't understand what they don't know. I'm not excusing it...I'm trying to help you. People need to think before they say something to a woman who lost her baby to miscarriage. Awareness is key. Awareness leads to compassion.

I wish you healing, comfort and love. I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know you're not alone. Love and Light, Ellen



Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]

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If you'd like to check out my line of handmade jewelry, Hope Angel Bracelets, click the link to etsy below to visit my shop. I also make remembrance/miscarriage awareness bracelets. Love and light to you, Ellen

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois and I am deeply sorry for your loss. MiscarriageHelp.com is a support site for women and their families who have suffered the pain, loss and grief after miscarriage. I respond personally to each email and post and have been doing so since 2006. It's an outreach to me. I try to connect and give whatever support I can to those who have walked the often lonely road after miscarriage. Why? I don't want anyone to feel as alone as I did over twenty years ago after I miscarried. I'm not a doctor. 
I'm just a woman who's lived through it and am here to listen, share and provide a space for you to share with each other, too.- Love & comfort to you, Ellen 
You can purchase my book, I Never Held You, miscarriage, grief, healing and recovery at Amazon by clicking on this link: I Never Held You