Unpredictable Grief: You're Not Alone : MiscarriageHelp.com

Unpredictable Grief: You're Not Alone

by Ellen M. DuBois on 09/26/19

I remember feeling so overcome with grief after my miscarriage. There were times I'd feel the sting of tears without any warning. I'd be "fine", (as fine as I could be), and wham, I'd be crying.

Grief is a journey and it's one you're not alone on. At first, I didn't find much comfort in that. I hurt too much and looking back, I had to feel it. It was a terribly lonely place to be and was often dark. I felt isolated and drained.

As time passed, I began to write about my feelings and reach out to others. Not a whole lot, but when the Internet was relatively new, chat and support groups started popping up. As I became aware of how much they helped me, I created my own site, this one, back in 2006. I realized even more how none of us are alone on our journey after miscarriage and how we draw strength from each other. 

My faith also carried me through some of the darkest days of my life. I thank God for that.

I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you find some comfort in knowing there are people out there who get what you're living. 

I know I do.

Love and Light to you,





Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]

My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

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Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois and I am deeply sorry for your loss. MiscarriageHelp.com is a support site for women and their families who have suffered the pain, loss and grief after miscarriage. I respond personally to each email and post and have been doing so since 2006. It's an outreach to me. I try to connect and give whatever support I can to those who have walked the often lonely road after miscarriage. Why? I don't want anyone to feel as alone as I did over twenty years ago after I miscarried. I'm not a doctor. 
I'm just a woman who's lived through it and am here to listen, share and provide a space for you to share with each other, too.- Love & comfort to you, Ellen 
You can purchase my book, I Never Held You, miscarriage, grief, healing and recovery at Amazon by clicking on this link: I Never Held You