Miscarriage at 2 and 1/2 months. Feelings of confusion. : MiscarriageHelp.com
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Miscarriage at 2 and 1/2 months. Feelings of confusion.

by Ellen M. DuBois on 08/31/12

I had a complete miscarriage 2 weeks ago. I had only know for a week that I was pregnant, I was not very happy about the news since I was told I couldn't have children and built my life around doing so. My fiance was also not happy about it, he has two children who are grown and out of the house already and he does not want any more. I am not sure if I even do want kids now knowing I can get pregnant. I was scared when I found out and didn't know what I wanted to do, if I wanted to have the baby, or get an abortion or give the baby up for adoption. I know an abortion would have hurt me emotionally. Even still I had the miscarriage and am not very upset about it, I don't know if it's my hormones returning to normal or what and another thing I'm not sure if I want kids in the future. I feel very confused by the whole thing and just looking for some advice. Thanks

Dear Jamie,

I am sorry for your loss and the confusion you're feeling. I don't think there's a right or wrong way to feel. You weren't planning on having children and it must have been a scary shock when you found out you were pregnant.  What to do? You must have asked yourself that so many times and my heart goes out to you.

Right now,  I'd take things a day at a time and try not to place any expectations on yourself.  Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you're feeling. I think time will help you sort things out and also give your mind, body, and spirit time to heal. Time will also give you the time you need to wrap your brain around everything that's happened...

I do believe you'll come to a place where you'll feel much like yourself again. It may mean feeling far less confused. Maybe it'll give you the chance to grieve a baby you never planned on having to grieve because it wasn't in your plan to have a child. When life throws us tough and unexpected curve balls, we are caught so off guard.

I know that feeling well, and I think many can relate to your pain and confusion.

I hope something I've said helps or at least makes sense. Take care of you. if you ever want to write again, I'm here to listen.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Love and light,

Ellen

 

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