Bound by Love #PAILRD #Miscarriage #babylossby Ellen DuBois on 10/06/17
To all those who have lost a baby, my heart goes out to you.
October is here and it's Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. On the 15th of October, we take the time to join together and remember our babies in a collective show of love, support and remembrance.
So many years have gone by since I lost my little one, Alex, to miscarriage. But, I think of him so often and always feel connected to him. I'd be willing to say that many of you feel like I do.
Life moves forward, somehow. After the dark days, months, years you somehow find yourself again and continue on with life. But, you remember. You remember the little one or ones you lost and know they'll never be forgotten. Some of you may be wondering how you'll get through the days. If you've just experienced losing your baby, your wounds are raw and I am deeply sorry for what you're going through right now.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I remember feeling very detached from the rest of the world. I was consumed with grief and a sort of numbness washed over me. I cried a lot. By the grace of God I managed to function, but it seemed like I was on auto pilot. After getting home from work or whatever, I often started crying because I missed my little one so much. I never felt a pain like it, and I haven't since. It ran so deep it felt like it cut right into my soul.
If you're going through this now, please know you are not alone. I know you may feel like you are, especially when you look in the mirror and you barely recognize yourself anymore.
There are so many of us thinking of you and praying for you. We've looked in the mirror, too. We've walked the path you're on and sadly, many are walking it right now with you.
There are others like me, who lost their baby (babies) years ago and still feel the pain, but it's not as raw. We remember our little ones and wonder what life would have been like. I do it every time the fall rolls around. My baby would have been born in November. Anyway, I, along with millions of other women grew into a "new normal". The time it took to get there was different for all of us. There is no time limit placed on your grief or your healing.
Our grief, however, is very much the same. We've all felt the very real pain of losing a baby, whether we had a miscarriage, stillbirth or experienced something else that took the sweet life we loved from us. Our hearts all ached and many still do.
Years ago, we didn't have a month dedicated to remembering our babies. We didn't have a special day to light a candle and collectively remember and honor the babies we loved so much and left footprints on our hearts. (October 15th)
As I sit and think about my Alex, I think about all of you and your little ones. Sometimes, the pain comes flooding back along with the ache to hold him in my arms.
I believe I will hold him one day, when I join him in Heaven. I know I feel his presence around me, especially when I think about him.
I know we will be bound by LOVE forever.
Thinking of you all and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Love and Light to you,
Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.
Note: Please feel free to leave a comment here. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]
Love & comfort to you, Ellen
#grief #miscarriagesupport #miscarriage
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