As Mother's Day Approaches- I Celebrate YOU :
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My name is Ellen DuBois and I've been hosting this site since about 2009. I miscarried many years ago when I was 25 and it really turned my life upside down. I remember going into bookstores to find something that spoke to the grief and pain I was feeling. Typically I walked out empty handed and on the verge of tears. Every book I saw was about having a baby...not losing one. 

It was sad, lonely and very isolating. And remember, there was no Internet to go to. If you wanted to find a support group, you had to ask around.

Why didn't my doctor talk to me more about it? Why was my baby called a "fetus" and not "viable"? Why did this happen to me and why couldn't I find any kind of support? My mind was full of "whys, what ifs and could have beens". For anyone who has lived through miscarriage, I think you know what I mean.

All these years later I'm still advocating for women who have miscarried. I want people to better understand what a woman who has miscarried is going through. How? By posting in my blog, sharing articles from "Times Like These", an online paper I curate and by listening to you. 

My baby boy Alex would have been thirty this fall. It's hard to believe. Although I've healed and grown since losing him, my heart has never forgotten him. I'll never forget how I felt when I miscarried and the depths of despair I sank into. The love I had for my baby is as real as any other. To this day it continues to inspire me to reach out to others to let them know they're not alone.

This site is undergoing an update. It's long overdue. But, the content here is for you and I hope you leave feeling more supported and understood than you did before you arrived.

Back when I wrote I Never Held You, not many books were out there about miscarriage and its fallout. I'm glad to see there are many more today because that means awareness of miscarriage and the aftermath has grown. I wish we didn't have to suffer such losses, but knowing there is more support and acknowledgment of your loss is reassuring.

I know nothing will change what happened to me, to you and to those who will go through the pain of miscarriage. But, it is one of my greatest hopes that the medical community and society in general will treat miscarriage as the real loss it is. 

May God and the angels comfort you. May you be given the strength you need. I pray you feel compassion, connection and empathy from those who have walked the same path.

Love and Light,


As Mother's Day Approaches- I Celebrate YOU

by Ellen M. DuBois on 05/07/21


I know many of you may have mixed emotions with Mother's Day coming up this Sunday. I know I do. I think about the baby I lost so many years ago and how I've always longed to be a mother to a child on this earth. It's always been a bittersweet day for me and for millions of others who feel like I do. My heart goes out to you. To those of you who miscarried and have children, I know you think about the baby you lost, even though you love the child or children you have. There's a special place in your heart for each child, whether on earth or in Heaven. My heart goes out to you, too.

I also know what it's like to have my own mother pass away. She's in Heaven and I miss her so much. Mother's Day carries with it a particular sting not having her here. I have so many wonderful memories of her and feel her near me, but it's not the same. I long to call her up, talk, see her, HUG her. But, that's not happening and it hurts. Even if it sounds crazy, I still talk to my mother. I think I always will. I don't mind admitting that to you. It's like she's here but I can't see her...I feel her loving energy around me.

If you are hurting for any reason as Mother's Day approaches, I want you to know you are not alone. I relate to you on many levels and if I don't, someone else does. We support each other simply by letting each other know you're not alone. If you're reading this post and you get the feeling that someone out there gets you, I'm grateful. That's what it's all about. When times are tough it's good to know there are people out there who have at least a glimmer of understanding. 

I do celebrate all the wonderful mothers out there. Mothers to children on this earth and to children in Heaven. I celebrate those who act as motherly role models to a child or to many children. I celebrate foster mothers, grandmothers, aunts and Godmothers. I celebrate all those who nuture like mothers.

You are all amazing and my heart, thoughts and prayers are with you. I celebrate YOU.

Love and Light,


Welcome to My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

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