2 Samuel 22:29 The Lamp That Shines : MiscarriageHelp.com
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Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com

My name is Ellen DuBois and I've been hosting this site since about 2009. I miscarried many years ago when I was 25 and it really turned my life upside down. I remember going into bookstores to find something that spoke to the grief and pain I was feeling. Typically I walked out empty handed and on the verge of tears. Every book I saw was about having a baby...not losing one. 

It was sad, lonely and very isolating. And remember, there was no Internet to go to. If you wanted to find a support group, you had to ask around.

Why didn't my doctor talk to me more about it? Why was my baby called a "fetus" and not "viable"? Why did this happen to me and why couldn't I find any kind of support? My mind was full of "whys, what ifs and could have beens". For anyone who has lived through miscarriage, I think you know what I mean.

All these years later I'm still advocating for women who have miscarried. I want people to better understand what a woman who has miscarried is going through. How? By posting in my blog, sharing articles from "Times Like These", an online paper I curate and by listening to you. 

My baby boy Alex would have been thirty this fall. It's hard to believe. Although I've healed and grown since losing him, my heart has never forgotten him. I'll never forget how I felt when I miscarried and the depths of despair I sank into. The love I had for my baby is as real as any other. To this day it continues to inspire me to reach out to others to let them know they're not alone.

This site is undergoing an update. It's long overdue. But, the content here is for you and I hope you leave feeling more supported and understood than you did before you arrived.

Back when I wrote I Never Held You, not many books were out there about miscarriage and its fallout. I'm glad to see there are many more today because that means awareness of miscarriage and the aftermath has grown. I wish we didn't have to suffer such losses, but knowing there is more support and acknowledgment of your loss is reassuring.

I know nothing will change what happened to me, to you and to those who will go through the pain of miscarriage. But, it is one of my greatest hopes that the medical community and society in general will treat miscarriage as the real loss it is. 

May God and the angels comfort you. May you be given the strength you need. I pray you feel compassion, connection and empathy from those who have walked the same path.

Love and Light,


2 Samuel 22:29 The Lamp That Shines

by Ellen M. DuBois on 10/05/21

This post is from my author site. I wanted to share it here because I think some of you may find comfort from it.)

2 Samuel 22:29 The Lamp That Shines

 (Photo: A Hint Of Fall, Ellen M. DuBois)

Much like myself, my blog is changing. Every day brings with it new things, challenges, blessings. The seasons change, what we learn about Covid changes, what we learn about ourselves changes, too.

The picture above was taken on Monday, October 4th, in the morning. There are days I just grab my camera to see what I can find. Maybe I'll spot a beautiful or cute animal in the back yard. Maybe I'll spot a cardinal at the feeder. Perhaps I'll finally get a picture of the owl that's proven to be so elusive.

Regardless, I always find something in nature that captures my eye, even if it's not what I'm hoping to find.

That's change and life is full of it. There are times when the changes scare me and I don't know what to do with all the emotional "junk" inside of me. It's fear, really. Sometimes I call it anxiety or overload, but the root is fear and the remedy is God.

As I bounce all around in this post, I'm still very compelled to keep writing and press on. This morning I read this quote from scripture: "Indeed you are my lamp, O Lord, the Lord lightens my darkness."- 2 Samuel 22:29

Prior to reading it, I was asking God to remind me throughout the day that Jesus is always present. No matter what happens, I asked to be reminded that He's with me and I'm not alone. Jesus is the light to my darkness and if I can remember that, I'll fare much better. I have felt the strength God gives me in the darkest of times and I know it's not a "one and done" occurrence.

The lamp is always there to light the way. When my mind takes over, (or my ego), I just need to remember to ask Jesus to shine that lamp and everything will be okay. Fear will be relinquished. Anxiety will dissipate. Feeling like I'm alone will revert back to being an illusion. I'm not alone and neither is anyone else.

Circling back, I took the picture in this post on Monday and had no idea it would turn out as beautiful as it did. The leaves look like the tips have been dipped in God's magnificent shade of red. There is a hint of fall beginning to take place on a Divine canvas. I find great joy in that and it serves as a reminder that God's light comes through is many places. Trees, flowers, colors, sunrises, twilight, in ourselves and in each other.

May you be reminded by whatever speaks to your soul that you are never alone and the lamp is yours for the taking. All you have to do is ask.


About me:  My name is Ellen DuBois, born and raised in Massachusetts. I love New England with its changes in seasons and natural beauty.

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

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