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Feelings are More Intense Right Now

by Ellen M. DuBois on 11/23/20



With all that's going on, it feels like I'm experiencing everything more deeply, intensely, powerfully. That includes my grief, sadness and how much I miss you.

 

 

 

 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]


My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

Miscarriage Fallout During Covid

by Ellen M. DuBois on 11/13/20



The world seems like it's upside down and you're also reeling from miscarrying. How do you cope? The fallout from losing a baby to miscarriage is huge. I remember feeling so overwhelmed- and that was not during a pandemic.


I use the term "miscarriage fallout" because that's what I believe you go through. There are tons of emotions to process and the grief you're feeling can be so consuming.

So, how do you cope with all of it?

While I don't have any kind of magic answer, I believe connection to others who have lived it and leaning on God and your angels for support is extremely helpful. While I  know it's not the time to find an in person support group, online support exists and helps. There are books out there to assist you in navigating through life after miscarriage. Online connections have been a source of support for years. I know because I created this website many years ago and people have vented, shared and connected through it.

I understand I'm not familiar with your faith. I can only attest to my own. There were times I felt like it was so dark and I didn't know where or how to find any light. Life felt blank and devoid of anything but grief for some time. However, my faith in God, the angels, the afterlife, in Jesus- this helped me so much during my most desperate times. I'd cry and ask God for help. I asked my angels to help me through panic attacks and more. My faith and yours may be different, but if you believe in something bigger than yourself, it helps.

Times are tough, but I want to spread the message that you will come through all of this on the other side. I know your grief has to be felt and when you're feeling overwhelmed by it, please give yourself permission to feel, step away  into a peaceful place and just be. You need and deserve time to heal and when you feel isolated even more because of Covid, feelings are compounded and magnified. 
 
Some deep breaths, some fresh air, some time spent with God will help you regain a sense of balance- a sense of self.

My prayers are with you and I am so sorry for your loss. Please hang in there.

Love and light to you,

Ellen

 

 

 

 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]


My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

#Repost: Grief Unpredictable

by Ellen M. DuBois on 11/11/20



I remember feeling so overcome with grief after my miscarriage. There were times I'd feel the sting of tears without any warning. I'd be "fine", (as fine as I could be), and wham, I'd be crying.


Grief is a journey and it's one you're not alone on. At first, I didn't find much comfort in that. I hurt too much and looking back, I had to feel it. It was a terribly lonely place to be and was often dark. I felt isolated and drained.

As time passed, I began to write about my feelings and reach out to others. Not a whole lot, but when the Internet was relatively new, chat and support groups started popping up. As I became aware of how much they helped me, I created my own site, this one, back in 2006. I realized even more how none of us are alone on our journey after miscarriage and how we draw strength from each other. 

My faith also carried me through some of the darkest days of my life. I thank God for that.

I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you find some comfort in knowing there are people out there who get what you're living. 

I know I do.

Love and Light to you,

Ellen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]


My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

Repost: If I Had One Wish #miscarriage #miscarriagesupport

by Ellen M. DuBois on 11/07/20



I do send my love to Heaven and how beautiful it would be if I could visit with my sweet baby. Although I know it's not possible to do physically, I feel a connection to my baby that will never go away. I talk to him. Tell him how much I love him and he'll always be in my heart. It's like an invisible thread keeps us connected. A thread that bridges Heaven and earth. #miscarriage #reachout #miscarriagehelp #miscarriagesupport #miscarriageawareness #pregnancyloss #babyloss #isolation #connection #feelingalone #talkaboutit #missingyou #missingyouquotes #grief #griefquotes #griefsupport #ineverheldyou #miscarriagequotes I'm thinking of you all with love and light, Ellen 

 

 

 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]


My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

Repost: Each November I Remember

by Ellen M. DuBois on 11/06/20





My baby would have been a Thanksgiving baby. Even though it's been many years since I miscarried, this time of year is bitter-sweet for me.

I am so thankful for many things. My health, family, friends, a roof over my head, blessings both big and small. Gratitude is an attitude I try to live with every day.

But, as with any loss, you can't help but wonder, remember, reflect- especially when a holiday or anniversary rolls around. (I miss my mother, too. She passed away in January of 2015 and losing her changed me...my life.)

Once again, I think of the baby I lost, Alex. He'd be all grown up now. I wonder what he'd look like? Be like? What would his voice sound like? How would hugging him feel?

My faith has carried me. I see Alex in heaven. Sometimes, I picture him with Jesus. I'm grateful for my faith.

But...I'm only human. There will always be a part of me that wishes he were here...with me. There will always be a part of me that wonders what it would have been like to have watched him grow up. That's simply the way it is and I've learned it's not going to change. I'm not going to change, at least that part of me. I've accepted this as who I am and how I feel. To resist it would do me no good. 

How can you not think about someone you loved so much and lost? How can you not...remember?

To anyone who is going through this, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you find comfort in God, the angels, in each other and in knowing you are not alone.

More than ever I wish you a blessed, safe November and Thanksgiving.

Ellen

 

 

 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]


My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:



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Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

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