MiscarriageHelp.com

To the Woman Who Miscarried A Long Time Ago

by Ellen M. DuBois on 03/06/20

I am so sorry for your loss. Some of you may not have heard those words. Years ago they didn't talk about miscarriage...it was kind of swept under the rug and life, your life, was expected to go on as normal. I know that's the furthest thing from the truth. I know because I lived it and I still think about the baby I loved and lost. I still miss him and he'd be an adult now. All grown up. Maybe he'd have his own family.

Perhaps you, like me, have spent years, actually a couple of decades, wondering what your baby would have been like. I've missed all those first moments with him and feel somewhat cheated of a life with him. Not all the time. The wound isn't as raw as it used to be. However, there are times I wish I lived the other life, the one where I watched my baby grow up. It will always sadden me that I didn't see those first steps, that first tooth growing in, hear his first word, see the first beautiful smile. All of it.

I used to be somewhat reluctant to say these things because I thought it best I didn't. I didn't want people to think I was "brooding" or stuck in the past. Then I realized these were my feelings and I had every right to feel them. My loss, my grief, my way of feeling. Holding it in doesn't do any good. I'm being real, true to myself and to you. This is what's in my heart.

I'm not saying I'm unhappy with my life today. That's not it. I count my blessings and know for whatever reason, this was the path my life was supposed to take. I am where I'm supposed to be at this moment.

That doesn't mean I don't sometimes wander into the world of "what could have been." After all, I didn't lose a car. I lost a baby. My life was proundly changed and I'd be willing to bet yours was, too.

So, if you have missed your baby for years and sometimes drift into the world of "what ifs and could have beens", you aren't alone. I get it and we can take comfort in knowing we have walked this path together for quite some time.

Wishing you health, love and light.

Ellen

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]

My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

Ask Amy: Anniversary of #miscarriage brings on grief #miscarriageadvice #miscarriagesupport #miscarriagebook Click here to read.

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I Feel Your Love

by Ellen M. DuBois on 02/11/20

You flew
into the Heavens.
You shine bright
like stars.
I feel your light
when I miss you most.
Evening comes,
the ache surfaces.
I feel your light
enter the cracks
of my heart.
I feel your love.
Ellen M. DuBois, Miscarriagehelp.com

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]

My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

Ask Amy: Anniversary of #miscarriage brings on grief #miscarriageadvice #miscarriagesupport #miscarriagebook Click here to read.

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One Life Is Not Replaceable With Another

by Ellen M. DuBois on 01/23/20

This is true and I hope through awareness, people gain a greater understanding of the power words have. They can heal and they can hurt.

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]

My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

Ask Amy: Anniversary of #miscarriage brings on grief #miscarriageadvice #miscarriagesupport #miscarriagebook Click here to read.

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Grief: Like An Invisible Illness

by Ellen M. DuBois on 01/23/20

I felt this way whenever I've grieved. After my miscarriage, the loss of my grandparents, and most recently the loss of my mother, (5 years but it feels like yesterday sometimes). My heart and prayers go out to all who are grieving. I am so sorry for your loss. Love and light, Ellen

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]

My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

Ask Amy: Anniversary of #miscarriage brings on grief #miscarriageadvice #miscarriagesupport #miscarriagebook Click here to read.

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A Million Times #miscarriage #repost #griefquotes

by Ellen M. DuBois on 01/14/20

I thought of you a million times today. When I looked at the clouds, felt a breeze, saw the beauty a flower holds. I know I'll think of you a million times tomorrow, too.- Ellen DuBois, Miscarriagehelp.com

Love to all who have suffered a miscarriage. I know what your heart feels.

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. [email protected]

My book, I Never Held You, is mentioned in this column. More importantly, it addresses how difficult anniversary dates can be:

Ask Amy: Anniversary of #miscarriage brings on grief #miscarriageadvice #miscarriagesupport #miscarriagebook Click here to read.

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