MiscarriageHelp.com

MiscarriageHelp.com

#Repost: Feeling Support When Others Remember Your #Miscarriage

by Ellen DuBois on 03/22/18





While going through my messages on the MiscarriageHelp.com Facebook page, I wanted to to thank someone who has always taken the time to reach out to me. I try my best to be there for others who have miscarried because I know how isolating it can feel. Miscarriage leaves you in a tailspin and it can last for months or years.




Although I lost my little one twenty-five plus years ago, I will always remember him, how devastated I felt after losing him and will always feel connected by a divine thread to my baby, Alex.

Thank you to GeePee, for always taking the time to think of me and remember my Alex in Heaven. Women who have miscarried often form a bond because they empathize with each other. Anyone who has been through this kind of loss knows what it's like and by reaching out to help others, we often help ourselves.

My heart is touched by these beautiful gestures. My little one, Alex, has been remembered by others, not only me, and it means so much. 

So, thank you GeePee! XO Ellen



 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

Repost: Four Miscarriages. It's Not Fine. #Miscarriage #miscarriagehelp #miscarriagesupport

by Ellen DuBois on 03/19/18



Jane Says: (Name has been changed for privacy)

Hi. Sorry I don't know if you could help, you can tell me to go away. I have never talked about my 4 miscarriages before, we been talking and trying for children for the past 2 years. I was 14 weeks when I lost my first, then was 10 weeks, 8 weeks, 11 weeks. I feel so lost and my partner keeps telling me it's fine we will have a child one day but I really don't want to keep putting myself through this, the saddness and the loss.

Ellen Says:

I am so sorry for your losses and I'd never tell you to go away. Ever. You've been though so much. I'm sorry I didn't get back sooner, either. My father's recovering from surgery a while back.

You have so much on your plate. You are grieving four babies and I'd be afraid of going through that kind of pain again, too. It's a lot to miscarry once...and you've been through this four times. My heart goes out to you.

I don't know if you've considered talking to someone about how you're feeling, but I know it helped for me. Some people aren't comfortable with it while others are. I'm no professional, but I certainly care about your pain and understand what you're going through.

Does your partner know how scared you are? Does he 'get' how each baby you lost was a life you loved and are grieving? I ask because so many times women's partners don't really understand. It's not his fault. We're all different and although he loves you and is grieiving in his own way, you went through it...you lived it.

I don't know if a conversation like that with him would help. Sometimes it can because you connect more. I would venture to guess he says you'll both have another child one day because he's trying to help you but doesn't know how. The pain you're feeling isn't something that can be "fixed" and many times men want to "fix things". I'm trying to stereotype anyone, just basing this on my own experiences.

If I don't use your name, I can share this on my blog and on this FB page and perhaps some women will share their stories with you. I think it always helps when you connect with people who have lived the same. Just let me know if it's okay with you.

I'll be thinking of you and sending you loads of prayers.

Take care of you, and again, I'm so sorry for your losses


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

Miscarriage, Remembering, Anniversary Dates. (#Repost)

by Ellen DuBois on 02/28/18



It's hard to believe, but my baby would have been in his twenties now. Sometimes, it seems so long ago. Other times, like the anniversary date of my miscarriage, the sting comes back. You heal. You move forward with life. You don't forget. The heart can't.- Ellen M. DuBois


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

Miscarriage: Emotional Support, Not Statistics

by Ellen DuBois on 02/22/18



Statistics about miscarriage don't help you with the emotional roller coaster left behind. Although we've come a long way, more needs to be offered in terms of support for a woman and her family who have lost a baby to miscarriage. It's not just a medical event. It's the loss of a baby you loved with all your heart.


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

To the Woman Who Miscarried: Your Baby Was Real #Repost #MiscarriageHelp

by Ellen DuBois on 02/15/18



"Please don't tell anyone who has miscarried her baby wasn't 'real'. That's like telling her she was never really pregnant."- Ellen DuBois

I know it may sound like common sense to many, but sadly, that's not always the case. So many women feel their loss is dismissed by hurtful comments, (although they may be said with the best of intentions...).

For example:

  • You never even saw your baby.
  • Your baby wasn't really "real".
  • You can always have another.
  • Don't you think it's time you get over this and move on? (That was said to me.)
  • At least you've got other children. (Like the one she lost doesn't "count"?)

This list goes on. It's really about awareness. A woman and her family who lose a baby to miscarriage are grieving. A mother who suffers a miscarriage often falls in love with her baby long before she ever "sees" her child. There is a very strong connection between a mother and her baby in the womb. In a split second, miscarriage takes this away, along with all the plans, hopes, dreams and wishes for the baby. I know first hand there are many thoughts and plans, down to the cute, little baby booties tiny feet will never fill.

It's heartbreaking.

The more people become aware of the very real grief miscarriage leaves in its path, the more sensitive people will be when talking to the mother and/or an entire family about it. Father's are deeply hurt by this, too, as are any siblings awaiting the baby's arrival. 

To all who have lost a baby, or more than one, to miscarriage, I am deeply sorry for your loss(es).

Love and Light to you,

Ellen


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

Hello. My name is Ellen DuBois. Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. I am deeply sorry for your loss.



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"MiscarriageHelp.com is a support site for women and their families who have suffered the pain, loss and grief after miscarriage. I respond personally to each email and post and have been doing so since 2006. It's an outreach to me, as I try to connect and support those who have walked the often lonely road after miscarriage. Why? I don't want anyone to feel as alone as I did over twenty years ago after my own miscarriage." - Love & comfort to you, Ellen

Ellen M. DuBois is the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery




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