To the Woman Who Miscarried: Your Baby Was Real #Repost #MiscarriageHelpby Ellen DuBois on 02/15/18
"Please don't tell anyone who has miscarried her baby wasn't 'real'. That's like telling her she was never really pregnant."- Ellen DuBois
I know it may sound like common sense to many, but sadly, that's not always the case. So many women feel their loss is dismissed by hurtful comments, (although they may be said with the best of intentions...).
- You never even saw your baby.
- Your baby wasn't really "real".
- You can always have another.
- Don't you think it's time you get over this and move on? (That was said to me.)
- At least you've got other children. (Like the one she lost doesn't "count"?)
This list goes on. It's really about awareness. A woman and her family who lose a baby to miscarriage are grieving. A mother who suffers a miscarriage often falls in love with her baby long before she ever "sees" her child. There is a very strong connection between a mother and her baby in the womb. In a split second, miscarriage takes this away, along with all the plans, hopes, dreams and wishes for the baby. I know first hand there are many thoughts and plans, down to the cute, little baby booties tiny feet will never fill.
The more people become aware of the very real grief miscarriage leaves in its path, the more sensitive people will be when talking to the mother and/or an entire family about it. Father's are deeply hurt by this, too, as are any siblings awaiting the baby's arrival.
To all who have lost a baby, or more than one, to miscarriage, I am deeply sorry for your loss(es).
Love and Light to you,
Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.
Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. email@example.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen
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