I hope you are doing well. The best you can. I am so sorry for your loss. I know the sting miscarriage leaves behind and the road to healing you're traveling is often difficult. You'll get there, in time, and I am right here to listen, care, share. So are the other women and their families who have taken the time to post on MiscarriageHelp.com.
I've had several emails with a woman named Claire, who has been struggling for the past three years since her miscarriage. I am deeply touched by her open heart, her willingness to share, and her positive words about I Never Held You and how it's helped her.
I am equally touched by a poem she wrote, and I'd like to share it with you:
"I did write a poem yesterday actually and i'd really like to share it with you..." Written by Claire:
How do you love a person who never got to be, or try to envision a face, you never got to see? How do you mourn the death of one, who never got to live? When there's nothing to feel good about and nothing to forgive? I love you, my little baby, my companion of the night. Wandering through my lonely hours, all beautiful and bright. What does it mean to die before you ever were born. To live the lvely night of life, but never see the dawn? My little baby! You lived like anyone! Life's a burst of joy and pain and then like yours, it's done.I love you, my little baby! Just as if you'd lived for years. No more, no less i think of you. The angel of my tears.
Note: If your comment is "too long" to be accepted, please break it into sections like I did. I wish I could change the length of characters allowed in your comments, but can't. However, you can post as much as you want by breaking it into multiple comments. To make it easier, please email me. (There's a link at the top of this page and right below this). Love & comfort to you, Ellen
"MiscarriageHelp.com is a support site for women and their families who have suffered the pain, loss and grief after miscarriage. I respond personally to each email and post and have been doing so since 2006. It's an outreach to me, as I try to connect and support those who have walked the often lonely road after miscarriage. Why? I don't want anyone to feel as alone as I did some twenty years ago after my own miscarriage."
- Ellen M. DuBois
Please post your comments in the blog or email me. I will answer each and every one of your posts. God Bless YOU- Ellen
Hello. My name is Ellen DuBois. Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. I am deeply sorry for your loss.
MiscarriageHelp.com is your safe place to share your feelings after miscarriage. Share your feelings, gain support. I am here for you, we are all here for you.
Your miscarriage and all the feelings associated with your loss are real. Your baby was real. I know your pain, and want to help as much as I can. You are heard and cared about here-- and by no means are you alone. I know sometimes it feels like you are, but we, the women and families who have suffered the emotional pain after miscarriage are walking beside you with empathy and understanding.
I've been the Host of MiscarriageHelp.com since 2006, and there are hundreds of posts to read, along with my responses and those of others who opened their hearts - offering support, words of love, hope and so much more.
On this first page, you will find posts from this point onward. Miscarriage posts from 2006-2010, (prior to MiscarriageHelp's new location) are in the "Posts" links in the menu. If you feel ready to open your mind, heart and spirit, please share whatever you're feeling on this page. You'll find the area to post above, (on this page).
There is no right or wrong way to feel after miscarriage. Believe me, I've run the emotional spectrum, as so many of us have after miscarriage.
Much Love and Light to you, and loads of support. Again, I am deeply sorry for your loss.
I Never Held You
Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery
By Ellen M. DuBois, Dr. Linda R. Backman Ed.D
I Never Held You speaks to the heart of women, their families and friends who have either lived through the pain & grief after miscarriage, or who want to better support someone who has. Author Ellen M. DuBois shares her own painful journey after miscarriage taking you from her darkest moments of grief, despair, isolation, anxiety, fear and depression to the steps she took towards healing and recovery. Her suggestions prove to be helpful in balancing the emotional peaks and valleys after suffering such a heartbreaking loss. I Never Held You validates your grief after losing a baby to miscarriage, and assures you that you're not alone in your struggle. With the help of contributing author Dr. Linda Backman, Ed.D., licensed grief counselor, psychologist and author, you'll come to better understand grief- and why it's so important to allow yourself the time necessary to heal. If you're looking for help and support after miscarriage, or want to help someone how has miscarried, this is the book for you. Companion website: MiscarriageHelp.com
Click here to order your copy.
Ellen M. DuBois is the author of I Never Held You, a book about miscarriage, healing and recovery and Host of MiscarriageHelp.com, the companion support site. Having experienced a miscarriage herself, she knows first-hand of the pain, isolation and often dismissive attitudes which accompany miscarriage. She is here to do her part in bringing miscarriage support and awareness to light.
"To those of you who have lost a baby, or babies, to miscarriage, I am deeply sorry for your loss."-
Ellen M. DuBois
Ellen recalls: "I remember going into bookstores searching for something to assure me I wasn't alone in my struggle. Nothing was available back then, (some nineteen years ago). Every time I searched through the maze of books, I'd find ones about having a baby- not losing one-especially not to miscarriage. What about those of us who never got to see or hold our babies?"
Hence, I Never Held You was born. It was born out of a need deep within her to reach out to others. She didn't want anyone to feel as alone as she did after her miscarriage.
To Ms. DuBois, healing certainly doesn't mean forgetting. She believes she's forever connected to the baby she lost all those years ago- the baby boy named Alex.
Through Ellen's pain and adversity, strength and support have grown into an outreach to those who have miscarried through both her book and support site, MiscarriageHelp.com.
Ms. DuBois resides in Massachusetts. She is an author, a published greeting card writer with Blue Mountain Arts, Host of MiscarriageHelp.com, and a piano teacher to over 30 students ages five and up.
Please visit Ellen's Author Page for more information on her other work.
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