MiscarriageHelp.com

MiscarriageHelp.com

Thanksgiving: Yes, I'm Grateful. But I Hurt. #repost #miscarriage #griefsupport

by Ellen DuBois on 11/15/17



As we approach Thanksgiving, I think many women who have miscarried may feel this way. I remember feeling so torn. I was grateful for everything in my life, but I was also a woman who was grieving the loss of my baby. My miscarriage left me feeling like a cloud was over me and I just had to allow myself to get through it the best I could. To anyone who is feeling this way, you are not alone and are in my thoughts and prayers. Just do your best. That's good enough. Love and light, Ellen "I know I have a lot to be grateful for. But, that doesn't mean I don't feel. That doesn't mean I don't ache. I miss my baby and it hurts!"


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

A Letter to My Baby in Heaven

by Ellen DuBois on 11/07/17



Dear Baby of Mine,


I think about you so often. I decided to write you a letter. Something tells me you already know what I'm writing to you.

I loved you since the moment I knew you. I never felt a love so strong or so deep. It's unlike any other kind of love I experienced.

Knowing you were growing inside of me made me feel a connection to you that words can't describe. I remember patting my belly gently, talking to you and sometimes, I'd smile just knowing you were there, safe and sound.

I had so many wishes, hopes and dreams for you. I was so excited to see you for the very first time and hold you in my arms.

Well, one day, all of that went away. You had to go back to Heaven and I bet it's because you were too good for this earth. I've heard that expression before and something tells me it's true. I've also heard about soul lessons, and I think you came into my life to teach me about mine.

I'll never know what God's full plan is for me, but I know you coming into my life was part of it. I also know you leaving was another part of it...but, it hurt unlike anything I've felt or ever will. 

You taught me so much, like how much stronger I was than I thought. You taught me that love transcends everything, even death. You taught me how precious life is and to treasure every moment because it can change in an instant. You taught me that even though we are not together here, we are always connected- it's REAL. You taught me that my feelings should be expressed, not held in. You taught me that tears help to heal wounds and holding them in isn't good for me. You taught me how to take my pain and turn it around to help others. You taught me that everything is not in my control and how important it is to have faith in God for support. There were times I didn't know how I'd get through the day, and faith carried me. God carried me. The angels helped me and I bet you did, too.

I pictured Jesus holding you in his arms so many times. That comforted me while my arms ached to hold you.

I know it's been a long time since I lost you, but I have never, ever stopped loving you. 

You taught me that whether in Heaven or on earth, I will always be your mother.

Thank you for teaching me so many things and for every other way you touched my life and heart. 

I Will Love You Forever,

Mom

 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Please feel free to leave a comment here. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

#grief  #miscarriagesupport #miscarriage

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

Remembering My Baby While Watching Christmas Movies

by Ellen DuBois on 11/06/17



It's the time of year when you can turn on the television and catch a Hallmark Christmas movie. Even when I've seen one before, I'll watch it again because they give me a sense of comfort. It's kind of like a tradition with me. November rolls around and I know I'll be watching them once again until Christmas comes.


There are times, however, when I get this bittersweet feeling while watching them. I'll see a family decorating a Christmas tree and they're happy. Even if they've been though their share of struggles, they're together. 

Sometimes, I think about what Christmas would be like if I had a child decorating the tree with me. I wonder what Christmas morning would be like had my baby, Alex, survived. 

What would Christmas be like if I didn't miscarry?

For a moment, I feel a pang of sadness. It's short but sharp. I know getting caught up in all the "what ifs and could have beens" is not good for me, makes me sad and keeps me trapped in a time that has long since passed.

I allow myself to feel it and find I recover much quicker than I used to. Right after my miscarriage twenty plus years ago, I could barely watch anything, including TV commercials, that showed happy families, babies, etc. It was just too difficult.

Now, the pain of "what could have been" is there, but not nearly as strong as it once was. I am not surprised when a wave of sadness overcomes me and I'm briefly taken back to a time when life was filled with the dreams of my child being with me every day, not just during the Christmas season.

It just goes to show you that I haven't forgotten. I can't because it's impossible. My baby was a part of my life and still is. I will always have a special place in my heart for him at Christmas and all year long.

So, if you find yourself feeling sad, thinking about the baby you never got to hold, please remember you are not alone. You are not abnormal- even if years have gone by since you miscarried. It's part of the fabric of your life. I believe you and your baby, who now resides in heaven, will always be connected.

I am so sorry for your loss, and I completely get what you're feeling if it's anything like what I've just written about.

Allow yourself to feel and you're going to be okay. I know it's not easy, but you'll make it through.

Love and Light to you, Ellen

 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Please feel free to leave a comment here. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

#grief  #miscarriagesupport #miscarriage

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

#Grief and Joy, A Balancing Act #Repost #miscarriage

by Ellen DuBois on 11/02/17

I wanted to repost this because it's that time of year when you may be struggling with balancing grief and joy. It's no easy task, and I want you to know that no matter what your circumstances, no matter how long you've been grieving, the holidays can be both joyful and painful. 






"Dear God, Please help me focus on my blessings during the Christmas season. I know it's about much more than me and my losses. Sometimes, I get so consumed by the pain. Please help me balance my grief with the joy."- Ellen DuBois, MiscarriageHelp.com


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.



Thought of You a Million Times Today #Repost #miscarriage #miscarriagehelp

by Ellen DuBois on 10/28/17



I thought of you a million times today. When I looked at the clouds, felt a breeze, saw the beauty a flower holds. I know I'll think of you a million times tomorrow, too.- Ellen DuBois, Miscarriagehelp.com

Love to all who have suffered a miscarriage. I know what your heart feels.

 


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

Hello. My name is Ellen DuBois. Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. I am deeply sorry for your loss.



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"MiscarriageHelp.com is a support site for women and their families who have suffered the pain, loss and grief after miscarriage. I respond personally to each email and post and have been doing so since 2006. It's an outreach to me, as I try to connect and support those who have walked the often lonely road after miscarriage. Why? I don't want anyone to feel as alone as I did over twenty years ago after my own miscarriage." - Love & comfort to you, Ellen

Ellen M. DuBois is the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery









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