MiscarriageHelp.com

MiscarriageHelp.com

More To Miscarriage: I Lost My Baby.

by Ellen DuBois on 01/12/18



When you have a miscarriage, it's one of the most devastating things. The word miscarriage doesn't convey the depth of what you went through. You lost your baby. It's been many years since mine, but I remember the pain and the grief running so deep it consumed me. To this day I still think about the baby I lost and loved. So I'm posting this to help create awareness. A woman who miscarried did not only have a medical event occur. She lost a child she loved and had wishes, hopes and dreams for. She's entitled and deserves to grieve, as with any other loss. My heart goes out to anyone who has lived through this and to the families. They are affected, too.



 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

Promise of Hope, Support, and Healing

by Ellen DuBois on 01/01/18



May your new year be filled with the promise of hope, the support of those around you and the comfort found in healing.

Thinking of all of you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Love and Light,

Ellen


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

After Miscarriage- You're Not Alone In Your Struggle.

by Ellen DuBois on 12/27/17



As the year comes to an end, I want to share with you an excerpt from my book. It's from a chapter entitled Moving On.


None of us knows what life has in store for us. There are going to be great, beautiful things happening and there are going to be painful things that try your spirit. Accepting the change, or 'moving on', is what life's about.

I know that as painful as my miscarriage was for me, it served a purpose in my life. I'm not saying that this is a good thing to have happen to you! What I mean is that without that terrible event, I would not be able to write these words in the hope of helping you. If I hadn't lived it, I couldn't talk about it like this. If I didn't cry the tears that you've cried, you wouldn't give a hoot about what I'm saying to you.

Why would you? What would I know of your grief, sadness, blame, guilt and fear?

I do know.

There are so many of us on different paths. We are professionals in the workforce or professional mothers. We are painters and singers. We are caretakers, and we are movie stars. Some of us may have children, while some of us don't. My point is that we all have our own lives, and our diversity is wonderful. The one thing that connects us is that we are women who experienced a terrible loss that seemed, in many cases, to go unacknowledged by many. We have all felt the dismissal of our very real grief, and we have all felt alone and isolated because of it. We have all wondered what 'might have been', and we have all been caught off guard by powerful emotions resurfacing.

As you move on down your road, whatever that road may be, I want you to know that what you're experiencing is something that I, along with millions of other women, have experienced. This does not lessen your pain- it acknowledges it. You are not abnormal for crying too much. you are not going crazy when years have passed and you still find yourself remembering and feeling. We cry our tears together. You are not alone in your struggle to get through this...

Most importantly, you will.


 


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

A Piece of My Heart is in Heaven This Christmas

by Ellen DuBois on 12/22/17



This is how I have felt for years about the baby I loved and lost to miscarriage: "As I celebrate Christmas and the holiday season, a piece of my heart is with you in Heaven."- Ellen M. DuBois It'll always be that way. I'd be willing to say that many of you feel the same way. I am so sorry for your loss and want you to know that you're all in my thoughts and prayers.  


God Bless and comfort you, Ellen

 


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

It feels like I should be happy... Christmas after a miscarriage.

by Ellen DuBois on 12/21/17



I miscarried twenty six years ago. It feels like a lifetime and like yesterday.  My baby was due in November, around Thanksgiving and since the day I miscarried, I have thought about my child. I've wondered what could have been along with so many other thoughts too numerous to count. 

When it comes to remembering how I felt that first Christmas after I miscarried, there aren't words to adequately describe the emotions that consumed me. I was beyond sad, felt detached and while everyone around me was gearing up for the holidays, there were many times I wanted to retreat and hide. I was so drained and putting on a happy face, or any face, was exhausting.

I want you, the woman who has miscarried, to know that if you're feeling any of these things and more, you are not alone. I know you feel like you are sometimes, or all the time, but you're not. You're not crazy for feeling sad one minute and not-so-sad the next. If you feel like you're bouncing around like a rubber ball, believe me, I've been there. If you find yourself tired even though you've slept, I know what that's like, too.

And it's not just me. Sadly, there are so many other woman who have lived through the pain of losing a baby to miscarriage. Although we live in different places in various circumstances, we are connected. We've experienced something we wouldn't wish on anyone- losing a baby to miscarriage. It's a loss that many still haven't come to recognize as "real", although that's getting better the more we talk about it.

Please take heart. I know this time of year can be especially difficult for anyone who is hurting in any way, and that includes you. You have a right to grieve. Your loss was real. If you're struggling I am not surprised, but I wish you comfort. If I could somehow make it better for you, I would. 

One step at a time. If you have to escape for a while just to catch your breath, please allow yourself to do so. Even if it's just stepping outside where there is peace, quiet and comfort to be found in the loving arms of God and nature.

Blessings to you,

Ellen


 


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

Hello. My name is Ellen DuBois. Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. I am deeply sorry for your loss.



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"MiscarriageHelp.com is a support site for women and their families who have suffered the pain, loss and grief after miscarriage. I respond personally to each email and post and have been doing so since 2006. It's an outreach to me, as I try to connect and support those who have walked the often lonely road after miscarriage. Why? I don't want anyone to feel as alone as I did over twenty years ago after my own miscarriage." - Love & comfort to you, Ellen

Ellen M. DuBois is the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery









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