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MiscarriageHelp.com

Signs From the Angels In A Card From Ma

by Ellen DuBois on 06/22/17



I wanted to share this with you because it shows how connected we are to our loved ones in Heaven, and to our angels. I hope on some level, my story brings you comfort.


This morning I was taking some better pictures of the necklace I hand stamped with "Mom", 1937-2015, for my Etsy listing. Although the necklace is for me, I have it in my Etsy shop as an example of what I can make for others. I moved on to cleaning out my office because it's being painted on Monday. I found a couple of things still under the bed. I reached into a bag filled with papers and cards. The very first thing I pulled out was this card. The moment I saw the very familiar writing on the envelope, I felt butterflies in my stomach. I held the card close to my heart before opening it. As I read it, the tears fell. Part grief, part gratitude. What else can I say? It was such a clear sign she is near, as are the angels.

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

In addition to her miscarriagehelp.com support site, Ellen also has her Hope Angel Bracelets on Etsy.

#signsfromtheangels #amwriting #blogging #grief #missyoumom #angels #heaven

To Fathers With Babies in Heaven On Father's Day.

by Ellen DuBois on 06/17/17



 

Remembering the fathers who have babies in Heaven this Father's Day.

You are loved and thought of.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers,

Ellen

 

 

 

 

 


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

#grief #amwriting #miscarriagesupport #bookexcerpt

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

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You Have The Right To Grieve...& Nobody Has The Right To Tell You Otherwise

by Ellen DuBois on 06/12/17



If you've suffered a miscarriage, I'm truly sorry for your loss. I know it's a very difficult time. You probably feel like your world has been rocked to the core and maybe you feel like your grief, your very REAL grief, is being dismissed.

Ouch. If that's what you're experiencing, I know what it's like. I know how much you loved your baby and how you were planning on the big arrival. I understand what it's like to ache so much you feel it in your soul. I also know what it's like to hurt so much and feel alone in your grief.

If it seems like family and friends don't know how to support you, I get that, too. I think what hurts even more is when your grief is dismissed. Perhaps someone has told you that it's been long enough and you should just move on. Quite possibly a friend has said you can always have another baby and to hold on to that thought. The well intended words of a family member or friend who said there was probably something wrong with the baby hurt you more than helped.

When people dismiss your grief by telling you to move on, etc., it's painful. It's like saying your baby didn't matter and your loss should be somehow easier to deal with. Those of us who lived it know that simply isn't true.

Your loss is real and your journey through grief is just as real. It takes time, as with any loss, to even begin to start feeling like yourself again. Even at that, you're a changed version of yourself. Grief forces you to grow and I know it's a very painful way to do so.

There's so much going on inside of you when you suffer a miscarriage- mentally, physically and spiritually. The emotions you go through are sometimes excruciating. Not everyone is aware of this and you may feel pressured to go through your grief "quickly".

You don't need to do that, nor should you feel like you have to. After my miscarriage, I didn't like walking through the fire, but I had to do it. I didn't even see it while I was going through it. But, it was a fire and it took time to get over those hot coals.

If you feel like you don't have the right to grieve because others are either trying to push you forward before you're ready, please give yourself the time and space you need.

You have the right to grieve...and nobody has the right to tell you otherwise.

God Bless and may you find some comfort in knowing you are not alone,

Ellen


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

#grief #amwriting #miscarriagesupport #bookexcerpt

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

Where All Babies Play In Heaven #miscarriage #miscarriagesupport #poem

by Ellen DuBois on 06/06/17



Hello Everyone,

About seven years ago, I wrote this song/poem with you in mind. I found it today while going through some posts and wanted to share it again. I hope it brings some comfort and healing to you. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Ellen

Your pain is so deep,
and I really want to reach you.
The tears fall like rain,
for the one you called your own.

What can I say,
to help you in this moment?
What can I do,
to make you see the sun?

All I can offer is my heart.
All I can say is that I'm sorry.
I'm forever by your side,
through this long and stormy ride.
Just keep believing as the days pass by...

That I will never leave your precious side.

Is there anything,
I can do to help you?
Can I ease the ache
within your broken heart?

I hope it helps to know,
I'm here no matter what.
I'll carry you,
when you're not feeling strong.

And, I'll whisper a prayer for you
to God in all His Glory.
I'll ask the angels to come to you
and tell you their sweet story.
There's a special place in Heaven,
and it's right next to His Throne.
Where all babies play in Heaven,
they're not alone.
Where all babies play in Heaven,
they're not alone.

Maybe one day,
when you're feeling better.
You'll feel a gentle breeze
brush across your face.

You'll feel your baby's kiss
carried by winds of Heaven.
You'll feel your baby's love
deep inside your heart.

And, I'll whisper a prayer for you
to God in all His Glory.
I'll ask the angels to come to you
and tell you their sweet story.
There's a special place in Heaven,
and it's right next to His Throne.
Where all babies play in Heaven,
they're not alone.
Where all babies play in Heaven,
they're not alone.

Copyright 2007 Ellen M. DuBois

#miscarriage #miscarriagesupport #poem


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

#grief #amwriting #miscarriagesupport #bookexcerpt

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

#Miscarriage and Blaming Yourself. #grief #amwriting #miscarriagesupport #bookexcerpt

by Ellen DuBois on 06/05/17


"After my miscarriage, I blamed myself. After searching for answers and coming up empty handed, I couldn't help buy blame myself. It took a long time to realize my miscarriage was not my fault. The irony: The more I blamed myself, the more I hurt myself."- Ellen DuBois, MiscarriageHelp.com

 

The following is a chapter from my book on self blame:

Who could I blame for this? Did I do something wrong? Did that glass of wine I had before I even knew I was pregnant somehow hurt my baby? Did that slip on the ice have anything to do with it? What about the cigarettes I smoked? Or, or, or...

It's a very natural thing to blame yourself when you suffer a miscarriage. I did. I wracked my brain in a futile attempt to come up with some answers. Anything. Nothing the doctor said could convince me that there wasn't something I did to make this happen.

So, I prolonged my suffering. By blaming myself I only made things worse. It was not my fault-just as it's not your fault that you've miscarried. No, that glass of wine or beer you had did not cause your miscarriage. No, the argument you had with your husband did not cause you so much stress that you miscarried. No, the unhealthy food you ate from a fast food restaurant didn't do it either. Please, stop knocking yourself and blaming yourself for this. I know you need answers. You want some sort of justification for your pain and loss. But, when you continually find, or try to find blame within yourself, you are hurting yourself over and over again.

When I couldn't find blame within myself - or at least a concrete event that I could somehow link to my miscarriage, my anger turned to God. Yes, God. How could He let this happen? Why? What did I do to deserve this?

I never thought about the bigger plan. Back then, my views on life and what God's plans were for me were much different. Even if they weren't, I still would have felt tremendous pain, and my faith would have been tested to the max. I still would have wondered what kind of a God would allow such a thing to happen.

Over time, however, I learned to stop blaming God. I don't want to preach to you, but, to those of you who are looking to God for answers, you'll probably never know. In retrospect, I can now look back and realize that it was all a part of the plan for my life and accept that, as painful as it may be. It certainly isn't something I'd want to relive,and I still don't know why it happened. My marriage did end. Maybe that's part of it. Maybe my ex-husband and I just weren't cut out to be parents-we weren't cut out to be married. But, that doesn't apply to everyone, and I'm only using examples pulled from my own life. There are many women who aren't involved with partners but have miscarried. Many women have terrific marriages and miscarry. You all have your own circumstances to look at and to try to find blame in. Let me just say this: Please, for your own peace of mind, stop blaming yourself and God (if you're blaming Him, too). It's simply torture, and the more you search for answers, the longer you prolong your misery. I know it hurts. I can feel your pain. I know having the answers would take away a little of your pain. But, please consider this: Even if you had the answer right in front of you, would it really lessen your grief or sadness?

I know it wouldn't have with me. It wouldn't bring back what I lost. I know that now-only after time.

Acknowledge your pain. Feel it. But, please stop blaming yourself, God, or anyone else.


 

Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. My name is Ellen DuBois, host of this site, miscarriage survivor, and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery. If you or someone you love has suffered a miscarriage, please know you're not alone. Connect with people who understand.

Note: Some people find it difficult to post comments here because it's not very clear how to do it. Just hit the "comment" link under any post. I'll get your comment and respond. If it's easier, please email me. ellen@miscarriagehelp.com
Love & comfort to you, Ellen

#grief #amwriting #miscarriagesupport #bookexcerpt

The MiscarriageHelp.com Daily- paper.li- by Ellen DuBois. Updated daily with a curated selection of articles, blog posts, videos and photos. Click here. Miscarriage Support- Because Your Loss Matters.

Hello. My name is Ellen DuBois. Welcome to MiscarriageHelp.com. I am deeply sorry for your loss.



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"MiscarriageHelp.com is a support site for women and their families who have suffered the pain, loss and grief after miscarriage. I respond personally to each email and post and have been doing so since 2006. It's an outreach to me, as I try to connect and support those who have walked the often lonely road after miscarriage. Why? I don't want anyone to feel as alone as I did some twenty years ago after my own miscarriage." -Love & comfort to you, Ellen, - Ellen M. DuBois
I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery









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